


By Your Side

by ultjinjoo



Category: IZONE (Band)
Genre: Angst, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-06
Updated: 2019-02-06
Packaged: 2019-10-23 08:29:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17679977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ultjinjoo/pseuds/ultjinjoo
Summary: "You think i'll leave your side, baby? You know me better than that." By Your Side - The 1975





	By Your Side

**Author's Note:**

> cross-posted this from aff.  
> I think i'll start posting here too.
> 
> follow me on twitter: ultjinjoo

  

Note:

* -Flashbacks

 

Also listen to the cover of The 1975 - By Your Side while reading the story.

 

-

**_You think I'll leave your side, baby? You know me better than that._ **

Yujin is trying hard not to cry while looking at her girlfriend. She knows she needs to be strong for Minjoo. It's been 10 months since Minjoo was diagnosed with Leukaemia and it's been a very hard 10 months for the both of them. Yujin can see the tear-stained cheeks of Minjoo and the puffiness of her eyes, the result of her non-stop crying a while ago.

**

_"Just leave me!! Save yourself! I'm gonna die soon, anyway. I don't deserve you. You're better off with someone else, Yujin-ah." Minjoo said while crying endlessly. She's been pushing Yujin away since the very beginning because she thinks that she will just be a burden for the other girl._

_"How many times do I have to tell you? I will never leave you! Even when you push me away. I will always be with you. Please, stop telling me to go away because I will not. I can't. You know why? Because I love you, Minjoo!" Yujin is also shouting now. The nurses and other patients got used to the fighting now and they've been feeling sorry and sad for the two young girls. Everything went silent and Minjoo suddenly collapses on Yujin because of exhaustion. Yujin carefully placed Minjoo on the hospital bed. She carressed Minjoo's face and wipes the tears on her cheeks._

_"I will never leave you, unnie."_

_-_

_**You think I'll leave you down when you're down on your knees? I wouldn't do that.** _

"I love sunny day! Everything is vibrant, the people, the surroundings. Right, unnie?" Yujin suddenly stopped walking when Minjoo didn't reply. She looks at her side and realizes Minjoo was not there. She looks back and saw her on the ground. She runs to her and tries to help her up but Minjoo stopped her. 

"You should have just continued walking. I can always catch up with you, you know?" Minjoo said while trying to get up. Yujin looks at her like she just said an absurd thing. 

"Are you really saying that I should walk and continue talking with no one? Do you want people to put me in a Mental Instituition?" Yujin said while she helps Minjoo up. She hears Minjoo laughing and she can't help but laugh along with her. She loves to see her girlfriend laughing at simple things just like before. Nowadays, it's hard getting Minjoo to smile or laugh so everyday she's trying her best to be funny just to see her girlfriend like this. "Now, you're laughing at me. Meanie. Hop on my back, Princess. Let's go back inside." She then imitated the horse's way of running that made Minjoo laugh at her again. Yujin was trying hard not to cry when hearing her girlfriend laugh like there's no tomorrow. She wants to record everytime Minjoo laughs, or Minjoo smiles but she can't. Because Minjoo is against it she doesn't want Yujin to record her because she said she's ugly and she's not worth it.

"You are silly, Yujin-ah. But let's go horsey!!" 

-

**_I'll tell you you're right when you're wrong and if only you could see into me._ **

It's one of those days when Yujin got tired of fighting with Minjoo. It's one of those days when Yujin leaves the hospital room when Minjoo asked her to. 

"I told you I'm not worth it!! I told you to leave me, right from the very start and I'm asking you again to leave because it's the best for us! Can't you see? I'm a lost cause. You should leave me. You have to leave me so you can stop hurting."

Yujin nods but didn't say anything. She's walking to the door while she hears Minjoo crying. She's tired. This was after the doctor said that there's no improvement in Minjoo's chemotherapy. She don't know what to do. She needs to stay strong because Minjoo is already giving up on herself but people can only take so much. So she leaves the room and went straight to the rooftop. She shouted and shouted and shouted. Yujin broke down because she can't imagine a life without Minjoo.

Yujin can hear the rooftop door opens followed by footsteps getting closer to her and a voice that said "I am so sorry, Yujin-ah.".

"You've been trying your best, Doctor Kwon."

"You don't have to act tough infront of me, Yujin-ah. Don't bottle your feelings. Cry your heart out. Tell all the things you want to say." Yujin then fell down on her knees and cried loudly.

"I don't know what to do anymore, Eunbi unnie. It's just too much. I love her so much. I want to remove the pain in her. I want to remove her disease." Eunbi hugged the younger girl as she continue crying. Eunbi is Minjoo's doctor right from the start and has been a friend to both of the girls. Her heart aches because she's always been the bearer of bad news. She's trying her best to help Minjoo, when it's her day offs she's been researching non-stop to save the other girl but luck was not on their side because Minjoo is getting weaker as the days go by. 

"Thank you, unnie. For being here and for always doing your best. I am going back to Minjoo now."

"Stay strong, Yujin-ah. Please, talk to me. Don't keep it all inside."

-

"I thought you really left. I am sorry, I pushed you away. I'm sorry I keep on hurting you. I'm s--" Yujin shushed Minjoo with a kiss. She don't want to hear any sorry from her girlfriend because she might break down infront of her. 

"I said that I will never leave you, right? The thought of leaving you never crossed my mind, Minjoo. I love you so much."

-

**_Oh when you're cold, I'll be there, hold you tight to me._ **

Yujin was finishing her report on the sofa inside Minjoo's room. She's feeling very cold and realized that the aircondition was set very low. She looked at her girlfriend and saw Minjoo shivering because of it. She adjusted the temperature and lay down beside Minjoo. 

"Yujinie, it's cold."

"I know. Come closer to me." Minjoo then cuddled up to Yujin and continued sleeping. Soon, Yujin fell asleep too. Her report long-forgotten.

-

**_When you're on the outside baby and you can't get in. I will show you, you're so much better than you know._ **

"Have you seen Minjoo, Unnie?" Yujin asked. As soon as she returned from school, she was so excited to tell Minjoo about her grades but the girl was not in her room. 

"No, but I think she's getting some air. We reviewed her condition 2 hours ago and there's no changes, Yujin."

"I think I know where she is." Yujin ran outside the hospital and went at the garden. There she saw Minjoo sitting on the grass and looking at the stars. She quietly sits beside her and studied her face. She can see the tears flowing down Minjoo's cheek, so she also directed her gaze at the stars. 

"Why can't I fight this disease, Yujin-ah? Am I that weak?" 

"You're the strongest person I know, Minjoo."

"Then why?" Yujin can't answer her. Because she herself is also asking why. 

"Why are you still with me, Yujin? Is it out of pity?" 

"How can you say that?!"

"I'm sorry. It's just that, I am always hurting you and pushing you away. Now it's already been a year and you're still here with me. I feel like I don't deserve you. No, I don't deserve you." Minjoo said as she lay her head on Yujin's shoulder.

"Stop saying nonsense things. You deserve me more than anyone. My heart, my mind and my soul belongs to you and you only."

-

**_When you're lost and you're alone and you can't get back again. I will find you, Darling and I will bring you home._ **

"What happened???!!" 

"She overheard my conversation with Doctor Miyawaki about her condition. I'm sorry Yujin but she's going downhill fast."

Yujin didn't let her finish because she hurriedly went outside and to the garden praying to see Minjoo there but she's nowhere in sight. She also went to the rooftop but Minjoo is not there. But then she remembered their conversation a month ago. 

**

_They were watching The Choice on Minjoo's room while cuddling on her bed._

_"When did we last went on a beach, Yujin?"_

_"Hmm, I guess when it was Wonyoung and I's double birthday celebration 1 yr ago? Why? You wanna go on a beach?"_

_"Maybe, but not today."_

_-_

Yujin drove as fast as she could at the beach near the hospital praying that Minjoo's there and she's safe. As soon as she parked the car, she ran hoping to find the girl. She's been running for 15 minutes when finally, she saw her figure illuminated by the moon. She was just standing there, looking at the waves. Yujin approached her slowly, afraid that Minjoo will ask her to leave. But she's shocked when Minjoo was smiling and asking her to come closer. She placed Yujin's hands on her waist and she put her arms on Yujin's shoulder and they danced with the sound of the waves as their music. 

"You always know where to look for me, Yujin-ah. Even before, when we are kids, that's why I know I will never get lost."

"I will always find you, wherever you are. My heart will always find you."

"I love you, Ahn Yujin."

"I love you, Kim Minjoo."

-

**_And if you want to cry, I am here to dry your eyes._ **

"Yujin... Just stay here." Minjoo said reaching for Yujin who is planning on sleeping on the sofa.

"But I will take so much space on your bed."

"Then, I... I will... Cuddle closer to you. Please... Yujin-ah." These past few days, Minjoo was having a hard time speaking and breathing. She's feeling very exhausted just by walking to the bathroom inside the room. Their routine of walking at the garden every morning and afternoon was now forgotten. Hearing Minjoo talk like that makes it harder for Yujin to control her emotions. She fights back her tears and approached the bed, she was hesitant at first but feeling Minjoo's weak pull she instantly lay down beside her. Yujin carefully wrapped her arm around her girlfriend's body to avoid hurting her. Minjoo lay her head on Yujin's chest and looked up at her. 

"You can cry, Yujin. You... don't have to be strong all the time... I-I know you're... crying when you're not here...with me." That's it, the trigger of Yujin's tears. For the first time, she cried infront of her girlfriend, her first love, her inspiration, and her bestfriend.

"I love you so much, Yujin. Thank you... for the amazing years... For t-taking care... of me. For... not giving up. For... showing me and... making me feel what love is. " Yujin can't even utter a word. She wants this all to be a dream. She wants them to go back before all of this happened. She wants her healthy and happy Minjoo back. "You... are my first... last love. I love you... so much, Yujin-ah."

"I love you so much, Minjoo. I love you. Please don't leave me. Please don't say goodbye yet. Let's just sleep and tomorrow will be okay, right?" Yujin closed her eyes but she's still crying. She can hear Minjoo struggling to speak and she's feeling her hands wiping her tears. 

"I...am tired, Yujin... You'll... be fine. Be happy. I will look... after you. Promise me, you'll move on. Continue... life. Promise?" 

"Then let's rest... Please I'm not yet ready. I can't live knowing you're not here. I'll call Doctor Kwon." Yujin was about to get up but Minjoo stopped her. 

"Please promise me, Yujin-ah." Yujin can't breathe. This is too much but she needs to promise Minjoo. She needs her to rest peacefully.

"I promise."

"Thank you. I love you."

"I love you."

 

Minjoo finally closes her eyes, while Yujin holds her body close and shouts for her name over and over again.

 

 

**_And in no time, you'll be fine._ **

 


End file.
